Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Lissingmink Is Dead!


Lissingmink is dead!

That is what flashed through my mind when I read the death announcement for Joy Masaba in Monday’s New Vision (May 4, 2015). Not the Joy Masaba name I was reading but Lissingmink! One of the funniest, best bloggers I had ever read, started to know in 2006 and was reading right up to 2010 when her interest in blogging, like many of us petered out as Facebook, then Twitter, then all the rest consumed us and juggling between the many blogging platforms that came up was no longer worth it. 
She was bold in print. She spoke tenderly. She loved. She was fierce. She wrote like this…

Monday, May 08, 2006
so sick of love songs...

he is leaving... i am trying to figure out what i am feeling.

"what do you find in him, he is soooo annoying, can you believe who she's going to see...? and the usual grumbles and mutterings went on and and on about this new fellow in my life...well, this was the second phone call, I was going to hook up with him...he just drove everyone nuts with anger, irritation or jealousy- "my God" i thought- "he must be like an enigma of sorts- jackpot!". this is just too interesting to pass over; should keep me on my toes.

After the first date...well, it wasnt a date date- but yeah, there was no looking back... the attention was flattering, his arrogance refreshing, his outlook endearing- till the moon came out, and that was it! like the annoying itch that you can reach- then it was just pain... stumped my feet, lashed my toungue, hissed, pulled silent treatment... but always had amnesia of sorts- yeah must have been, why did i keep on going on 'not a date dates'?

settled into genuine camaradarie... enjoying each others company and knowing when to scream "red flag!!" and the other party sounding the retreat... soon lulled into distant camaraderie... and after 3 weeks, "oh hi, ...ok let's hook up" or bump into each other at one pub or the other...and "where u seated ? what you drinking..." pretty cool.

Then silence... 2 months " want to lose at pool?" cant resist a challenge ok a dare; meet old friends laugh, argue, get really really drunk- was a good night... then the question comes "when did you say you were leaving?" he clears throat, and mumbles something about going to take a piss ...i think hell no "you taking the piss!" "what?" he asks- did i say that out loud? i must be pissed..." see you guys; when do YOU leave? "

he is cowering- weird coz he is like really tall- 'in two days"




"miss me?"

"does it make a difference?.. take care, was great.."

phone ringing..." what?" "what do you mean... am I ok...oh you leaving.. no cant see you off, fucking hangover...call, write if you can, bye"

ok, you cannot cry. why, he was a good friend... so, he didnt... doesnt matter!- can someone turn off that goddam radio!

phone again... "jazz tomorrow? baxmba and austrian jazz string quartet..." "ok.. what time?...cool."

we back- yeah, how did you guess? no one likes him either- ...and i aint sick of love songs...lol time to move on.

posted by lissingmink @ 5:16 AM

Notice how she ignored all the grammar rules and you did not mind? She was idiosyncratic like that.

Do you really need to write a carefully written love story, an anthology piece, after reading that? I did not and begin to believe, for Uganda, the best writers were blogging. 

Now that she is dead, died Saturday, May 2, 2015, I see condolence messages on her Facebook page that bring rushing back so many of her poignant posts and I see how steeped in the truth of her life they were. 

When I told a friend that I had just learned Lissingmink was dead, she was surprised and asked me, “I thought she was Kenyan? Isn’t she?” 

No, Lissingmink was not Kenyan but Castro Ambiyo in his grief stricken remembrance gives me a clue why so many thought Lissingmink was Kenyan…

That Joy Masaba went to be with the Lord is sad. Joy was my sister. You see, one night I woke up and decided to go to Uganda to search for opportunity that was in 2006. I got myself living at Wandegea flats just opposite Makerere University main gate and within the estate was this tuck shop where we all shopped and engaged with Professors in discussions through the night. But there was this lady, brilliant in thought and with such a big heart. She had lived in Kenya and had all the mannerisms of a Kenyan. We hit it off, we shared books, watched loads of movies, had gin and tonic together, argued, played chess and scrabble together, she became like my sister so we had those sibling moments. But all else, Joy had a big heart I remember the beef peppered with sugar, cabbage and ugali. RIP Joy Masaba. — feeling sad. (Castro Ambiyo) 

I learned through the tearful reminiscences on her wall, she was not simply showing off when she blogged, “Clearing book shelf now, and what do i see, my piano sheet music- i was supposed to get back to that. drat missed the exams this year! sigh...soon, very soon- stroke favorite music book lovingly, hum a few notes, and oh well, where's my Kaweesa CD(topping my charts at the moment).”

Music was a very real part of her life and she had her faithful companions in that activity too like Joan Ngarachu, “This is distressing! You were loved by many. I loved your humor, energy, your smile! and insight. I loved harmonizing with you! This is a tremendous loss. I rest you in God's loving arms! May you rest in peace.” 

Here comes the “couple” she blogged about who were in an accident, and omitted, in her post, her kindness to them or how much her visits meant to them, the joy she brought them. First Felly Juma, angry at her friend’s demise, “Pain...gut wrenching, throw up, can't believe it kind of pain! Joy Masaba, we survived a nasty accident and boarding school and all the ish in between!!! Can't believe it you are gone. R.I.P Love. Sleep with angels. May the Lord welcome you safely in His arms.”

Cheek-o Dread was in Lissingmink’s life, in nearly all the windows she opened up, and they made music and merry and he tells us, “Joy Masaba you have been my one true pal since the mid 90s, and I recall the chat we had soon after my accident when I flew to Kla and you had just been discharged from hospital.
I remember the drum sessions & drinking over by that pub near Phoenix, and the many bars we haunted in South B.
I remember the bitchsessions about Touch FM, and the many drinks in Wandegs!!

You my dear friend will sorely be missed!!
May you R.I.P!!

Julliet Opondo speaks for all the rest of us, too busy, absorbed in our lives, who let the important people fade quietly out of our lives, “Lord knows, I enjoyed my 20s. The mischief, the partying...its the kind of stuff memories are made of. The best bit is the fact that you are surrounded by like minded friends that made those years priceless. So it breaks my heart, almost 100 times over when I find out, through fb, that my dear friend passed away on Friday. I am so heartbroken right now, but for the most part I am overwhelmed with guilt. Because if our friendship meant so much to me, I should have kept in touch...All I can do now is cry and slowly process this reality. Joy Masaba, we had some of the most fun times ever. And my biggest regret is that we did not get to pick up and continue this in our 30s. Sleep well dear friend. Today I mourn from the deepest part of my being.”

From her blog, when she used to blog, Lissingmink lived her life fully. She loved, was loved, cherished and was cherished, remembered and is remembered, “I have vivid memories of you, and yes, we should have hooked up in Kisumu when you suggested it, and you have come to Kampala that time- and should have made it to Mombasa too.
I am stuck with your cell number which is off! you shant log on to your IM again and we shall not share another 'piano bar' moment'.

This saturday as you take your final earthly journey, listen out for Beethoven's 'moonlight sonata'- dont make a face, I played that better than you (Dr. Fr. Okello can bear witness!). We can share one last moment.

Rest In Peace Ramu- (you said it came from ramulus right- shall read up my greek mythology, till then, i will still crack up when i hear that name), and thank you for all the moments we shared; they were happy and carefree moments.


Anonymous said...

Death has been a real bitch this year. So sad about her passing, though I just came to know about her today.

Anonymous said...

So sad .. RIP