Friday, August 21, 2009

I Used To Love Blogging...

1. I miss the days when I could not wait to share with you what had happened between leaving my work desk in the evening and getting back into the office the next day just before midday.

2. I miss how much I loved this space, this forum, because it was a validation for so much. That some of the things I thought you had all already thought, that some of the dumb things I did were not so dumb because you had done them too and told me in comments and face to face.

3. I miss (and I know how crazy this sounds) late nights in the office, the last to leave and locking up, lost in the blog worlds you all unveil in your spaces, being inspired to pen one last post to leave. Outside after locking up, sniffing in the night air, suddenly invigorated, joyful that my faithful readers will have a reward when they log on in the morning that I left, caffeine fueled, last night. Walking into the night, ignoring taxi callers, happy at these creations, happy you will be happy.

4. I miss (again I know!) not being ambitious. Content. Wanting nothing more than being here. I sit here wondering where all my simplicity has gone, the delight in smallness, unfazed by towering offers, turning away from all that tempts. This blog my one weakness.

5. I miss being able to afford buying a movie once a month, careful the movie I buy, when it was still the in-thing to buy a 5-in-1 DVD and I knew this place on Dastur street that satisfied my craving, where I went the day I wanted to buy the first DVD to show in my first desktop what four years ago. Today I go through five movies, series in a night and think who would want anyway to read my take on them and stash the thoughts away, like the texts I never send or the calls never make just because.

6. I miss having the time to comment on all the blogs I still read, the time to update my list of blogs that I read, the internet connection speed to adjust all that I wish to adjust on my own blog and start an argument in someone’s comment box---regulars, you know!

7. I miss putting up weekend posts. Crazily strolling from home into an internet café because I just thought of something, or read something or saw something that I know the blogren would enjoy knowing about too. I miss having the zeal to share all that I still see, think of, read and know as I grow older, learn more, correct some of the things I never thought I would have the chance to correct.

8. I miss being certain that blogging is the new literature and that we are writing down will one day be quoted and referenced like they do authors of books you can hold in your hand, and dog-ear their pages.

9. I miss wanting to wow, wanting to impress, thinking all that is important, convinced there was a point to it all. Well all that seems gone and while it never seemed to matter, it does now, and I find myself so surprised at how much I miss it, desperately miss it, more than almost anything else but one thing.

10. I miss caring.

11 comments:

Princess said...

This is desperately sad. Especially since I understand the sentiments behind it. But don't you dare give up on blogger. Please!

joyunspeakable said...

Ten (10) misses? Everyday, everyday. A library, a pen, a notebook
Just falls
Into a bonfire....
Lit with lazy ease
Ten times i see you run
Each time i hear you say
Your collection
Your heritage
Has burnt down again

~ScotchBiscuits~ said...

I miss blogging too. I miss having the words to say. I'm so speechless of late...I seem to sigh or laugh deliriously -unable it seems, to wrap words around the chaos in my head.
Here is to things becoming normal again!

petesmama said...

We miss you too.

Don't take life too seriously or you will get too grown up and we will lose you completely!

Mckeith said...

Dont give up on blogger. You will break hearts. The eyes meal must be served

Darlkom said...

I miss you.
I miss Mataachi.
I miss feeling the words grip my heart and refuse to let go.
I miss you.

Heaven! said...

I miss you.
and i also miss the fact that even though alot of things are happening around me right now i just cannot blog. just.

edsulah said...

don't just sit there dude, do something.

Sleek said...

And this is scary, esp for me the faithful-blog-reader who looks to all you 'bloggers-of-olf' for inspiration...this isn't right. and 10 is the scariest...

Steven said...

Restless spirit.

Tamzel said...

I know what you mean. I remember a time when it was so easy to blog every other week. But I know your love for blogging will be rekindled.