i was told this story by a friend. she was at a picnic and like true wannabe corporate yuppies, the girls and boys got down to playfully tossing about food crumbs and water at each other. this one couple got everyone's attention because the girl emptied a bottle of passion fruit juice on her boyfriend's clean sparklingly white gucci tee-shirt. then she laughed and ran. everyone laughed and followed this unfolding drama.
so the boyfriend picks up a bottle of soda too, fanta orange thankyou, and chases her. not kiddish i don't want to catch my girl too fast chase. a grim faced, whatthefuck-i'm-going-to get-you chase and-you'll-see-pursuit. she was laughing, but he wasn't. he caught up with her and punished her too. no, he did not batter her face into cubist angles. he looked her up and down, remembered how she was why they had got to this picnic late and the reason why they got here late and emptied that motherfucking fanta bottle in her hair.
the teller of this tale tells me that the picnic ended there and then. guys excused themselves quickly saying, 'see u chaps.' but not before hearing her, despite his pleading and saying he did not mean it, commanding him to 'shut up now if you still want to be my boyfriend in the next few minutes." apparently she had been to the saloon that afternoon.
now i wonder, why is it that girls always have to issue severe ultimatiums like that?